My life has strangely played out in a series of halves: ethnicity (half-Japanese, half European), childhood (overweight, above-average athlete) and (persecuting atheist, Christian school-goer) elementary (class clown, 8th-grade valedictorian), high school (honors scholar, All-league varsity football), college (pre-med, frat boy) and I managed to balance these pretty well... that is until med school. Let me explain:
To understand my conversion you need to know my family's background. My mother is 3rd-generation Japanese and was raised Buddhist, now she has no religion. My father is one of seven and was raised by my grandparents who were devout Christians (church twice a week, then watching sermons Sunday afternoon, etc.) and currently none of my aunts/uncles nor my dad have continued religion since childhood. I was attending a private Christian school (for the accelerated curriculum) and it was during this time I truly was a modern-day Paul. Most of my classmates (10 total in my 8th-grade grad class, 100 total from 3rd-8th grade at the entire school) were Christians from church-going families. I had no spiritual identity and because of my defense mechanisms as a kid, I used words to persecute and make fun of these kids whenever I was made fun of for being Asian, a 'half-breed', overweight, etc. I prided myself on this exclusive claim of anti-religion.
When I was growing up, my dad allowed my grandma to take us to church. Being one who thirsts for knowledge, I rather enjoyed Sunday School and all the cool stories such as Noah and the Ark, Jonah and the 'whale', etc (good for my future run on Jeopardy?). However, as I grew older, I soon found myself in 'big church' with a bunch of old white Presbyterians. I had never established a personal relationship with The Trinity and soon grew to dislike attending church. It was at this time near Jr. High when I was participating in numerous sports, academics, and other activities that the free breakfast/lunch benefit provided by grandma didn't outweigh an open Sunday and thus I was allowed to stop going to church.
It wasn't until undergrad that I sought to check out this church thing again. My roommates brought me out to a Harvest Crusade (RIP Jeremy Harrison) and I really enjoyed the music and soon agreed to attend a Sunday service. Honestly, I was a bit overwhelmed at the sheer size, felt very insignificant, and simply didn't 'click.' Throughout this time, I truly desired a relationship with God as I saw others were happy and secure in their futures. You might even say I was jealous of joyful Christians. My mind and my will simply would not 'buy into it', however.
I truly believe that God heals us when we're broken and my darkest days were definitely my first year of medical school at UC Riverside. I turned to other things (sex, drugs, etc.) to fill the void yet continued to be unsatisfied. Trying to keep up with fraternity party life while starting grad school left me broken-hearted as I became 'the old guy' and for the first time in my life, my grades were suffering. God was gracious and put people in my path who followed the Lord and led by example. It was during these times that I became closer friends with one of my classmates, Steve. It started as more of a tutoring/study-buddy relationship but soon grew into true friendship. During study breaks we'd grab a bite to eat, then maybe a movie to celebrate finals, and occasional gym runs to keep our sanity. Along the way he'd invite me out to his church but I was not about to be 'duped' as I'd made up my mind that I gave God his fair shot at converting me.
Can't really say why I eventually decided to go, but Steve's persistence finally paid off and I agreed to check out his church. Though I don't recall the specific message, that first sermon changed the rest of my life as I responded to the altar call, felt The Holy Spirit come upon me, and God opened His arms and welcomed me into His family. Now this may not seem like a very powerful testimony to some, but those who knew any of my Jekyll's and Hyde's call this nothing short of a miracle. I truly believe my grandmother planted those first seeds of my spiritual growth and friends like Steve have encouraged me along to find THE WAY home. (I Cor 3:6-9) I used to see the polar opposites in my life as ways to prove people wrong for stereotyping me and became extremely judgmental and quick to start arguments. Through many life lessons, I now see that God has created me unique and special yet equal to my brothers and sisters. I strive to embrace diversity and bring about unity not as a way of finding my own identity but rather showing others Christ in me. As I continue my life's journey a new duality has been posed by many (psychiatrist, Christian). I am doubly delighted to share my calling as I answer this question... next note.