This past week, our church had the privilege of hosting Pastor Robert Barriger from Camino de Vida in Lima, Peru.

One evening, Pastor Robert gave a talk to the men in our church and really challenged us to be men who think of “them.” In other words, men of God are those who abide by 1 Corinthians 10:24: “Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.”

After the talk, I ended up talking to a sister about the lecture and lessons that I had learned. The sister then told me that what Christian women are looking for in a guy, more than anything else, is character. That got me thinking. What makes up Godly character? As one who has been involved in men’s small groups for a number of year, and trying to become a man of God myself, I took some time to reflect on what characteristics make up a man of God.

Below is my list of some characteristics that Godly men embody:

1) Humility

“Although you were once small in your own eyes, did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel?” (1 Samuel 15:17).

God placed Saul as king over Israel but stripped him of the throne because of his pride. He had become big in his own eyes, arrogant towards God. This is one of the biggest challenges for men: pride. We are a proud species – we always want to be the smartest, the brightest, the most exalted, celebrated, and powerful. When we see someone in achievement, we don’t generally move towards “Congratulations!” but towards a “Why didn’t I get that?” Our first inclination in most situations is the self.

Fighting the self is a long hard fight that is ultimately not achievable by one’s own effort, but by experiencing the wonder and majesty of God. It’s like going to the Grand Canyon and being so immersed by the view that one completely forgets the self. I love what CS Lewis says in Mere Christianity on the subject of humility:

Don't imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call "humble" nowadays: he won't be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who's always telling you that, of course, he's nobody. Probably all you'll think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him, it will be because you feel a bit envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He won't be thinking about himself at all. There I must stop. If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you're not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.

2) Responsibility

Men want power, but generally don’t want the responsibility that comes with it. When I was a freshman in college, I remember thinking to myself about my small group leader: “I can do that job, no problem. I could probably do that even better than him!” But now almost ten years later, I can say with full assurance that leading a small group is more about being responsible for the lives of others rather than reigning over them.

One of the biggest challenges as a man is making a decision and accepting all the consequences that come with that decision. It’s easy to make a decision, but unbelievably difficult to accept the negative outcomes that come with the decision.

For example, I sometimes make leadership decisions that result in the outpouring of tears! This past week there were a few people that ended up breaking down and crying in front of me. My first inclination was to blame them: “This is clearly not my problem! What’s wrong with you?!” But the reality was that God had placed them into my life and called me to care for them. It was my responsibility to respond to the situation not in blame, but in love and wisdom. I needed to take responsibility, because my actions (or inactions) had caused this pain.

Power is great, and as men grow in age, more power and authority is given. But with power comes awesome responsibility. Unfortunately, we men would rather blame others rather than accept the consequences of our decisions.

3) Mentored/Mentoring

It’s so important to find mentors in our lives. We men probably all agree with this statement. But why is it that few of us have mentors in our lives? It’s tied in significantly with the first point: self-sufficiency. We reach a point in life when we simply don’t see the need for people to speak into our lives, or we think we know better than others.

One of my spiritual mentors mentioned to me that “mentoring is an invited relationship.” In other words, a mentee needs to invite someone that he respects into his life – it is a proactive step by the mentee! When I was younger, I remember thinking that a mentor to just drop into my lap. “Why do I need to ask someone to by my mentor? He should just appear!” But that’s not how it works. Any mentoring or discipleship relationship is as good as the mentee makes it out to be. If a mentee doesn’t really want to learn, it’s game over – the mentoring relationship simply won’t work!

And on the other side of the coin, it’s just as important that as we are being mentored, that we men mentor younger people! It’s a cycle of life!

To be continued….