I sang "Amazing Grace" at my Grandmother's funeral. I remember singing that line "I once was lost, but now am found" when the people in the audience simultaneously said "amen." But the way they said "amen" was so genuine and sincere that it was as if the words pressed upon their hearts. Afterwards, a pastor approached my parents and said that he's heard many powerful, soulful gospel singers, but there was something…something about me. At the time, I simply thought he was someone who appreciated my singing. Looking back, I realize it was the first time an elder of a church affirmed God's gifting upon my voice.

I grew up in the church and hence, I thought I was spiritually flawless. In reality, I was absolutely void of God. How could I know God's grace, love, and salvation when I thought I didn't need it? During one of our fall retreats I was brought to my knees because I saw the outstanding gap between the person God created me to be and the sinful person that I really was. That night, for the first time, I buried my face to the ground and wept for my sins. And for the first time, God's love, forgiveness, mercy, salvation rushed into my life. I was so excited that I went up to receive prayer. I had to tell my spiritual leaders that I finally realized that I was a sinner and I eagerly waited, expecting to hear a prayer acknowledging my sinfulness. Instead of the condemnation I should have received, God spoke through my leaders and gave me my calling— that I would minister and heal people through song. A year later, in God's faithfulness, I was brought back to the same retreat center where I performed a song I wrote inspired by the story of the bleeding woman who was instantly healed by a touch of Jesus' cloak.

It's been a journey of up's and down's trying to live out this calling. Many times I have doubted God's promise in my life and have been utterly defeated by the opposition from the people closest to me. Boldly stating that I am called to be a "singer for God" is probably foolishness to the world and even to some people in the church. But "without faith it is impossible to please God…" [Hebrews 11:6] and I need to believe that a promise from God is a promise to the end.

Recently, I finished recording my demo. It's taken me a long time to get here through all the doubts, the discouragement and the detours in my life. (hah I pulled a P. Seth!) Now, it's time to remain faithful- not just in the area of music, but also in my personal walk with God. I have tried to live a satisfying life with God on the sidelines. I have tried to fulfill my dreams following the rules of this world. In the end, I have always returned to God broken from the hope I placed in other things. I cannot part from His words that say "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." [John 15:5]. I want to live in God's will because His dreams for my life are far greater than anything I could imagine for myself.