I hear that all families are dysfunctional in one way or another, and my family growing up was no exception. I wouldn't say my childhood was an altogether unhappy one, but it did have it's share of frightening and lonely moments. The constant verbal and physical fights between my parents had a negative impact on how I viewed marriages. As with most girls, I did think about boys and marriage, but those thoughts would be overshadowed by my parents troubled marriage. Seeing such little happiness in their marriage made me wonder why anyone would want to get married.
My perspective on marriage began to slowly change my junior year in college. This was the year that I got serious about studying and applying the Bible for my life. Thus, began my journey of being transformed by the renewing of my mind through God's Word. I didn't realize all the lies I was believing in, whether about myself, others or God. One area of my life that was being transformed was in the area of marriage. It wasn't that I was looking to get married, but as I studied God's Word, the Holy Spirit began to heal the hurts from my childhood, especially as it related to my parents. And as He began to minister to and heal me, my attitude toward marriage changed. I even began to desire a marriage, but one that would be God-centered and done God's way. Then, in my senior year of college, a boy named, Seth, approached me about a courtship relationship and the rest is history...talk about God's timing!
Not having a good example of a marriage, I am learning to rely on God to teach me how to build a strong marriage. My marriage needs to be built on a new set of blueprints, with the instructions given by God. But, I am learning that just because I have these new set of blueprints, does not make marriage any easier. It just reminds me that I must humbly learn to daily depend on the Lord.
In my eleven years of being married thus far, I confess that it hasn't always been easy. But, I can say that the love I share with my husband is not what I had imagined growing up as a child. My hope and prayer are that my children will learn God's blueprints for marriage as they daily observe their parents, that they will pass on these blueprints to the future generations to come, and that they will see how a Christ-centered marriage can have an impact on the family, the church, the community, and the world at large.